The song "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer" got stuck in my head this morning, as it is wont to do from time to time. While I got dressed, I walked around singing the tune and adding my own commentary as I went.

"All of the other reindeer, used to laugh and call him naaames, because they all were assholes, and Rudolph's better off without them anywaay..."

Pär, typing away on the computer in my office-née-closet, called out, "Why were the other reindeer assholes?" He didn't grow up on these songs like most Americans did, so he hasn't learned all the little stories by heart yet.

"The reindeer are mean to Rudolph," I explained. "And then as soon as Santa asks him to lead the sleigh they're suddenly falling all over themselves to be his pals, just because Santa showed him favor. They're suck-ups."

Pär nodded, staring at the computer screen and typing. "Suck-ups," he agreed absent-mindedly.

He was dressing in the bedroom a few minutes later as I brushed my teeth. I could hear that he had picked up the tune and was now adding his own spin to the lyrics. "Rudolph the red-pee'd reindeer..."

"What?" I said, peering around the door in alarm.

"...Got kicked in the bladder yesterdaaay..."

"Aaugh! No!" I cried. In a rush, I quickly chanted out two more lines of verse. "But-Santa's-magic-healed-him, so-his-bladder-is-okay. Whew." I glared at Pär. He smiled happily.

"I thought you didn't like the reindeer," he said.

"I don't want them pissing blood! Anyway, Rudolph is the nice one, get it? It's the other reindeer I don't like."

"Suck-ups," he said cheerfully.

"Yes," I sighed, making a mental note to have Pär watch a couple of Christmas specials this year. He and I make up our own lyrics to songs pretty constantly, and those tunes are catchy. So to avoid further misunderstandings like this one, Pär had best get it clear in his head who Rudolph is. He has my blessing to lyrically mutilate Frosty the Snowman as much as he wants.