This morning, while walking around the bedroom bouncing Tot in my arms, I looked up and saw two spiders poised in the crease where wall meets ceiling. They appeared to be the same kind of spider, mirror images facing one another with a few feet of distance between them, above our bookcase.

I pointed them out to Pär. "Wonder if they'll meet and duke it out behind the bookcase?"

"I think," he said promptly, "they will mate and breed a thousand tiny spiders behind the bookcase."

My jaw dropped. "Oh, fuck!"

"No, I'm just kidding."

I stood there, frozen, staring in horror at the spiders. "Fuck!"

Pär leaned over my shoulder and spoke to the baby. "Daddy makes many humorous jokes and mommy enjoys them!"

"Fuck!"

"Okay, okay," he sighed, reaching for a roll of paper towels. "Bring Tot out to the other room, and I'll take care of the spiders."

Didn't need to ask me twice.