I used to keep an online journal called Thought
Experiment. In late 2001, I ended my journal and took down all the archives.
The journal was filled with long rambling ruminations on all sorts of
things that were on my mind from day to day. Life and death and various
stuff in between. I enjoyed writing about it all at the time but now
I can't read it any more; on those pages are things I already said.
I'm done with them.
There is one part of my old journal that's still fun for me to read:
the conversations between me and my husband Pär. I transcribed
bunches of them over the course my journalling. When I look through
the entries now I can still remember having those conversations, and it makes
me smile. He and I have been together for a decade now; it's kind
of cool to have this snapshot of 1999-2001.
So I've collected the conversation entries, and left out all the crap
that was originally around them. Imagine that these conversations
were once a small part of a larger journal, and that it actually did consist
of more than me goofing around being geeky with Pär. I wrote gazillions
of words on other subjects. Thought Experiment showed me going about
my daily life, musing philosophically, pondering past and future, hanging
out with friends, discussing world events, stressing over work and money,
being on occasion sad or angry over old family troubles, laughing about
things that amused me, ranting about things that didn't, passionately
resolving to live a better life, bitching about the squalor of our small
and perpetually filthy apartment. From mid-2000 onward, I wrote a fair bit
about the strange and (for me) wonderful experience of being pregnant, and
my gradual coming to terms with motherhood.
Really, though, it all comes through in the goofy conversations. And
I always knew my readers only suffered through my endless pontificating
about me me me in the hopes that I'd post another funny bit with Pär
in it. Fuckers.
Here they are, strung end to end, pure and unadulterated. The
funny bits with Pär in them.
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